Confessions of a Serial Comfort Eater

status viatoris – being ‘on the way’/being in a state of pilgrimage

Or should that be a “cereal comfort eater”?

I suppose, given my lifelong love affair with Kellogg’s, that the second term is equally valid, if a smidgen less encompassing of the whole truth.

Having written here and here about successful attempts to gain control over the blubber that has been souring my existence since my late teens, it seems right and balanced that I also share with you the low points.

Of which “right now” would qualify pretty nicely.

Because at some point over the last two months, I appear to have fallen off the healthy lifestyle wagon and the damage is starting to show: digging-in waistbands over rolling hillocks of tummy, bras that pinch, the disappearance of any semblance of a 90° angle where neck meets jawline.

But by far the worst symptom of all, has been the gradual erosion of my self-esteem: that most welcome of weight-loss side-effects.

And as I find myself in Italy, there is absolutely no hiding away from the reality of the situation:

“Goodness, you have put on weight. I can really see it in your face.”

“Goodness, you have put on weight. I can really see it round your middle.”

and my favourite old chestnut:

“How exciting! I didn’t know you were pregnant!”

Mortifying, depressing; but may possibly serve to heave my bulk back onto the healthy lifestyle wagon sooner than if I were surrounded by more polite souls.

Tracking back, it seems likely that things began to take a downhill path when the autumnal chills brought with them my first dose of flu; the negative connotations of such an occurrence being two-fold:

- I was not well enough to take Pooch for his customary walks.

- I had to rely on “easy” food stuffs because I was unable to take care of shopping or cooking.

But when flu turns into gastric flu, which morphs into a sinus infection, and then descends to a chest infection – all of which drag on in a seemingly interminable fashion, and are interspersed with persistent migraines; the risk is that a perennial comfort eater will eventually turn to that which their brain has decreed will bring temporary alleviation of all misery: calorific foodstuffs.

And when fevers, coughs and sniffles also conspire to prevent said comfort eater from keeping up their calm, but regular, exercise regime, then the result soon becomes visible to all and sundry.

So this is the point at which I find myself, yet again: gazing with horrified fascination into the mirror, torn between wanting to hide in a corner and sob self-loathing into a packet of biscuits, and the knowledge that with the right psychological impetus, I WILL be able to turn this around.

For although it may well be so that the consumption of high-fat, high-sugar foods fosters addiction for high-fat, high-sugar foods; as long as the resulting satisfaction is fleeting and the price that satisfaction demands too high, I decree that my physical and mental health, and my sense of self-worth deserve to be fought for.

PLEASE DON’T GO ANYWHERE, HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, I’M BATTLING TO MAKE MY WAY BACK TO YOU!

This is Status Viatoris, the battle of the blubber is never over, a comfort eater is never cured; trying one’s best is the best one can do, in Italy.

About these ads

14 Responses to “Confessions of a Serial Comfort Eater”

  1. an admirer Says:

    Oh SV, how can you mention Mr Kellogg when you are surrounded by panettone, the likes of which has never been tasted before!! Have you no shame!

    • statusviatoris Says:

      I cannot start my day with anything but cereal, never have been able to, never will be able to (with perhaps the exception of pan tumaca), cake just wouldn’t cut it as a breakfast-stuff!

  2. MrsF Says:

    You can, and you will, do it.

  3. Lesley Porter Says:

    You are strong, you will triumph, and when you have – tell me the secret…..

    • statusviatoris Says:

      Thank you! Although I’m not sure there is a secret :-( I think the secret may be just accepting that it is a permanent and uphill struggle that permits no resting on laurels. A lifestyle, rather than a finite process. Not sure. Will let you know as soon as I have any further revelations on the subject!

  4. Gil Says:

    I am sure that by the time you read this you will be well into getting it done.

    • statusviatoris Says:

      I am reading this whilst getting ready for bed with the determination that from the minute I open my eyes tomorrow morning, all my energy will be focussed on getting stuck in to getting it done! I will post updates on SV Blog Facebook page and Twitter to let people know how successful (or otherwise) my endeavours are proving!

  5. Happy Homemaker UK Says:

    Good luck! Having the desire to change is half the battle. You can do it :)

  6. farfalle1 Says:

    Good for you – what pluck! I have only 2 thoughts – it’s not truly desperate until your underpants are too tight; then it really IS desperate; and it’s good to carry an extra 5-10 lbs so that when you get sick , as you did this autumn, you will have something to sustain you. I have this from an unimpeachable nurse friend. Just be healthy and happy… and healthy. (ballet school is such a good adjunct)

  7. Kai's mum Says:

    I have read and re-read this post – I too need to scramble back on to that wagon! I lost weight at the start of the year with a good and supportive friend but she moved away. I was convinced that I had mastered it anyway – simple; eat less, do more. However, there’s something about complacency and smugness that put weight on, ounce by ounce at first, then the pounds come slopping on. Right. I will follow where you lead, SV – don’t let me down!

    • statusviatoris Says:

      Hmmmm… I confess that I am not doing very well at the moment. I am hoping that once I have completed the furniture move, I will be able to relax into a less stressful mindset and seriously tackle the comfort eating issues – trying to do so when I’m very busy and preoccupied seems to result in a losing battle.

      Best of luck! As soon as I am back in a good regime, I will start to post my (hopeful) weight loss and we can spur each other on!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: