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I’ll Show You Mine

status viatoris – being ‘on the way’/being in a state of pilgrimage

I have finally got myself a language exchange partner.

Sadly not the 6ft, raven-haired, dark-eyed hunk of unruly Italian masculinity that I had been hoping for; more a 4ft10, brown-haired, dark-eyed slip of Italian womanhood, but very welcome nevertheless. Especially in light of the fact that I seem to get away with conversing in Italian far more than she gets to practise her English.

Being single girls, and of roughly the same age, most of our conversations in both languages so far have been about boys. She has been giving me the low-down on Italian men – confirming most of what I had originally suspected, and I have been making stuff up about British ones.

Not having been anywhere near one since I was eighteen, my fictional Brit seems to have taken the middle ground somewhere between Hugh Grant and the emotionally unavailable bricklayer who occupied my romantic delusions before I left England in the mid 1990s.

Unfortunately this may leave her a little ill-equipped to deal with the reality when she hits London in September.

She has also been teaching me the slang for penis in all the Italian dialects she can think of. Now this might seem like a pointless task, but at least I can be on my guard wherever I may go in the country. And if someone asks me to come and have a gander at his, I won’t misunderstand and think he just wants to show me something totally innocuous like puppies, etchings, or photos of Albania.

This is Status Viatoris, improving certain aspects of her italiano, in Italy 😉

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15 Responses to “I’ll Show You Mine”

  1. MrsF Says:

    Good Golly Miss Molly.

    Like

  2. richardtimothy Says:

    I’d say prepared. It’s almost as if you belong to the Dr. Ruth sect of Girl Scouts.

    … If that is a bit to obscure of a reference let me know, I can explain it more if need be.

    Like

  3. sabina Says:

    Dear SV, some words are necessary to survive out there with men! And that post you wrote about italian stallion is full of truth. But don’t give up, dear! Let’s hope we will meet someone who is special and not – for example – one who doesn’t ride a motorcycle because he’s afraid that wearing an helmet could mess up his hair!!!!! I met him. I’m lucky 😦

    Like

  4. An admirer Says:

    Good Lord, my eyes are watering and I’ve come over all hot having just read your latest, it’s not lunch time yet here!

    Like

  5. wageslavea Says:

    Your use of the word “pointless” leaves me puzzled. Is that a national anatomical detail of which she thought you should be aware?

    Like

  6. Romesecret Says:

    you should warn her about Top Gear, the TV program most Englishmen, builders and H Grants alike, talk in superlative code about all week and I suggest you teach her the work “pucker” so she can communicate with tradesmen.

    Like

  7. statusviatoris Says:

    Reblogged this on Status Viatoris and commented:

    Tired Old Tales for Tuesdays

    Like

  8. an admirer Says:

    I’ve only just cooled down & resumed normal composure since your 2010 blog and now you spring this on me! Just off for a cold shower…..

    Like

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